Fellow husband, do you have the courage to commit to an exceptional marriage?
Looking back over my current ten-year marriage, I can be honest and say that I have many regrets.
Not about getting married – or who I married. But regrets about how I handled my role as a husband. Regrets like letting destructive thoughts occupy my mind.
Or allowing poor attitudes about myself to lead to poor attitudes about my wife.
Or the stupid words that have come out of my mouth over the years.
But despite all of those regrets, what I regret most is not fully committing to the marriage that I vowed to help build.And if there is one piece of advice that I’d freely give to any married man (or one soon-to-be married man), it would be this:
An extraordinary marriage is firmly rooted in the solid ground of unshakeable commitment – and it takes boatloads of courage to make that commitment.
Is your marriage one by default, or one by design?
Imagine you’re about to build your dream home. You’ve been working your whole life for this moment. You’ve already purchased a nice plot of land and you’re ready to hire an architect to design your home.
You talk to a couple of architects and one of them claims to be so good at what he does, he doesn’t need a blueprint to build your house.
At that point, you laugh and move on to the architect that does use a blueprint – because that’s the smart thing to do. It’s a no brainer, right? Why would you even consider hiring an architect to build your dream home if he doesn’t use a blueprint? You wouldn’t.
You and I both know that building a house without a blueprint is way too risky.
And just as you’d never build a house without a blueprint, you shouldn’t attempt to build your marriage without one. Yet so many husbands get married and put their marriages on auto-pilot, before it seems to take off – I should know, I was one of them.
The marriage has taken a default course, headed for disaster.
Now I’m sure you’d agree that exceptional marriages are products of design, not default.
But if the solution is that simple, why are so many other marriages in shambles?
The relationship industry and their dirty little secret EXPOSED
Most men would rather sky dive from an airplane without a parachute, than grin and bear a marital counseling session with their wives – not to mention a clueless stranger charging up to $200 an hour.
And men, our instincts aren’t failing us on this.
With the multitude of ‘how to’ relationship information out there, you’d think divorce rates would be less than 50%, wouldn’t you?
The industry itself is made up of licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health counselors (even social workers), as well as licensed marriage and family therapists.
But these ‘experts’ fail spectacularly, when it comes to relating to the man in the marriage. Typically it’s the wife who wants to go to counseling in the first place. (And this is when things seem to be going poorly in the marriage.)
So she says something like, “Honey, I think we need to talk to somebody about our marriage. An expert. This way we can explain the problems we’re having.”
What the husband hears is, “Honey, you’re a loser and I’m not happy and I want to change who you are. Plus, this will be a great opportunity for you to share your feelings, while I can complain about the fact that you never help me around the house or spend time with me when I ask you to. Between the expert marriage counselor and me, we should be able to fix you.”
Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Not so much.
Frankly, most ‘armchair general’ marital counselors are dead set on turning men into women. It’s as if …
They’re trying to mass produce dysfunctional lesbian couples!
They prefer to have us ‘get in touch with our feminine side’ as they proceed to talk to us in meaningless psychobabble.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m a man. And I prefer to be spoken to like one. Not like a woman. Not like a child. Not like a low level thinking animal … Like a man!
In this regard, the relationship industry does much more harm than it does good. And what these ‘experts’ never want you to find out is …
You know, better than anybody else, how to improve the quality of your marriage.
How to attract the wife you desire, by the husband you become
In his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the late Steven Covey described what he called the Personal Victory in great detail.
He explained how necessary it was to master yourself as an independent being, before you could develop rich, interdependent relationships with others.
This is especially true in your marriage. As husbands, we need to focus our attention, inwardly first. It’s not as selfish as it sounds. We need to achieve the independent Personal Victory over ourselves before we can positively influence our wives.
It’s a simple concept, that we as husbands are at risk of taking for granted.
Why your wife is smiling as you read this
Ok. Maybe your wife doesn’t know you’re reading this. But if she does, she’s probably grinning like a Cheshire Cat right about now.
Her knowing that you’re on the lookout for practical, working resources and insightful information in order to better your marriage, let’s her know that you’re making a real effort.
And in most cases, that’s what our wives want to know … that we’re contributing, fully. That we’re awake at the wheel.
Truth be told, it doesn’t matter if she knows your reading this or not. What matters most is that you are.
Going from ‘good husband’ to ‘great husband’ almost instantly
The fact that you’ve visited this site, and are reading about how you can improve as a husband, tells me you’re already a good husband.
And from where I stand, you have what it takes to be a great one. No questions asked.
You’ve already taken the first step. It wasn’t hard at all, was it?
It didn’t take much time or cost you any money.
You’ve almost instantly gone from being a ‘good husband’ to being a ‘great husband’ because you understand this simple truth:
Your individual development never stops. It’s a life long journey.
So what’s the next step?
Sign up to my free e-letter.
Husbands of Kaizen shows husbands how to make a greater contribution to their marriage – through continuous improvement. (That’s the literal translation of the word ‘Kaizen’.)
It’s written for the married man who’s got a lot going on in his life, so it’s quick and to the point – each issue roughly 5 minutes.
Not to mention it’s 100% free. Just let me know which email address to send it to:
Every day, I’ll write about things that matter most to husbands who really care about being the best-married man they can be.
In addition to sharing proven success tips and resources on topics like winning philosophies and attitudes, it will also cover more practical ‘nuts and bolts’ themes like:
Practicing the art of effective communication that reduce – and even eliminate – needless miscommunication.
How to create smart conflict resolution strategies that help you fight fair – without permanent damage to your relationship.
How to consciously develop your leadership skills in a way that inspires and positively influence your wife.
Quick and painless romance tips that score huge payoffs with your ‘old lady’ – in the bedroom and outside of it.
And much more …
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What is Husbandology and why should you care?
It was only a few short years ago where I found my marriage teetering on the brink of disaster.
Faced with a decision to continue on or cut my self-inflicted losses short, I knew something had to change.
My only advantage at this point was that I couldn’t imagine my life without my wife. My future with her was cemented in my mind.
This was my only edge. This is what would snatch me out of the muck and mire of my own husbandly incompetence.
Just me and my desire to do better.
And that is what Husbandology is all about: empowering husbands to do better in their marriage – to achieve true greatness, as married men.
I believe every married man is fully capable of achieving greatness in his marriage – in the eyes of his wife, his children, his own esteem and those of his peers.
This fundamental truth applies to the newlywed husband of only two months, just as it does for the veteran of twenty years. And it doesn’t matter if you’re an atheist or a God fearing Christian, Buddhist or agnostic.
Contrary to what you may have been conditioned to believe, being an exceptional husband is easy.
But just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it isn’t hard work – it is. And champion husbands are always up to the task.
I’m not a marriage counselor, coach or psychologist – just a fellow husband with a burning desire to reach my full potential in my role as a married man.
Will you join me TODAY? Do you have the courage to be an exceptional husband – NOW? Your journey begins by entering your best email below.
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