Robots and machines have the luxury of not having to deal with the emotion of anger.
Humans, both men and woman, are without that luxury.
Which is why learning to embrace your anger, as a husband, will benefit you, as you learn to make it a habit.
Of course, this is an independent journey that you will take, albeit one that will contribute to your marriage favorably.
Anger doesn’t go away because you’ve matured or have become enlightened.
I think men are taught, early in childhood, that anger is bad. It’s negative. It isn’t socially acceptable.
I think that is BS.
(As most of our conditioning tends to be.)
All of the positive affirmations and declarations in the world won’t address your anger; at least not in a way that it is contributing to your life and marriage in a favorable way.
The existence (and expression) of anger in your life doesn’t mean you have veered off course or that you are regressing … although this is the message that most self-help pundits and therapy professionals will push.
I think anger (if handled correctly) is a boon to our role in marriage as husbands.
A wrathful compassion all married men should possess.
Earlier this Monday, I received troubling news about a close family member of mine who is going through a divorce. It’s getting messy.
Both have taken the gloves off.
And as I began to think about the situation and how it so quickly deteriorated, I began to ask questions. Fiercely and emphatically.
I demanded answers.
The more and more I thought about it; I began to feel changes in my tone of voice. My chest puffed out and tears of compassion draped down my face.
Later I realized that it was anger that induced this wrathful compassion on my part.
Anger directed at the situation, not people.
This sense of anger was backed by my compassion and empathy for all those involved. Husband, wife, and their children.
In this case, anger became my ally.
It was the conduit for my expression of compassion and a healthy release for the buildup of tension that had overcome me.
An important distinction between healthy anger and destructive anger.
The key distinction between a healthy anger and a destructive anger is where it is being directed.
Case in point:
Expressing anger toward your wife is unhealthy, regardless of the reason.
Here, anger is your enemy.
Expressing anger toward a situation or circumstance that has been troubling your wife is healthy.
Here, anger is your ally.
In this latter instance, you are inwardly pissed off about what’s troubling her. You’re taking a stance that is driven by a healthy anger leading to compassion and empathy for her.
You do this by accessing your Inner Warrior – one that is full of compassion, empathy, and vulnerability.
The impetus you need for positive action in your marriage.
As a husband, learning how the powerful emotion of anger can be used to benefit your relationship is profound, because most men are taught that anger is bad. That it should be eliminated.
Being a human being means dealing with your anger. I believe being able to do this means tuning into your true masculinity.
When you can embrace your anger within the context of your marriage, positive action is something that almost comes automatically.
Here’s the question you might ask yourself, right now?
What situation and circumstance in your married life are you angry at?
It could be a lack of money, quality time, the feeling of monotony, or a lack of personal fulfillment (and social status).
Whatever it is, harness your anger and direct it toward the source. Doing so will compel you to positive action in your relationship.
Anger is good when used correctly … so get pissed off!
From one husband to another,