amnesia

Relationship Advice: Lessons From Husband Whose Wife Suffered Severe Amnesia

Would you pass the Amnesia Test if you had to? Fellow husband, Kim Carpenter, did when he and his wife survived a near fatal car crash and his wife forgot who he was …

Who would of thought you could get some stellar relationship advice from a romantic comedy?

About a year or so ago, my wife and I were sitting in our living room, watching what I thought was a Hollywood chick flick, called The Vow. (Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum both played the lead roles in it.)

These movies usually make me want to crawl out of my own skin and into some else’s – any one else’s — much like hermit crabs do with their shells.

I think I was caught on the wrong side of a bet.

It’s the only reason I can drum up that would make any plausible sense as to why I would subject myself to Torture By Television … Romantic Comedy, second only to “reality” television.

The movie itself seemed like a completely fictionalized love story. However, what I didn’t realize about the movie was that it was based on a true story.

Krickitt and Kim Carpenter said “I do” in 1993 and only 10 short weeks after, they were in a near fatal car crash that would permanently alter their lives together.

Krickitt suffered from severe amnesia in which she didn’t even remember who her husband was or the life their previously shared together. She had no recollection of her recent wedding. Nothing.

Could you imagine this?

Despite the circumstance, her husband, Kim Carpenter, took his wedding vow seriously, as he stood beside her side regardless of the fact that he had become a complete stranger to her, almost overnight.

He didn’t care. He was committed to earning her love and trust back once again, no matter how long it took and regardless of the circumstance.

"You make that promise, you keep the promise. If you’re going to say something, act on your word. Be a man or woman of your word."

That’s what Kim said about being a man of your word.

Kim Carpenter is one of the best husbands in the world as far as I can tell. I’d love to meet him one day to get some relationship advice from him.

But he’s already given me some great advice as a fellow husband.

Other than being a man of my word, I couldn’t help but wonder: If my wife had come down with severe amnesia, would I be able to earn back her love? Her trust and respect?
Would she be attracted to me or would she pass me by for some other guy? What would she really think of me?

What I was really asking myself is whether or not I would pass the Amnesia Test.

If my wife suddenly forgot who I was, would I be committed to her the same way I was when we first met?

I’d like to think so, but how can I be sure?

How can you be sure you’d pass the Amnesia Test?

Here’s how: commitment.

That’s how Kim did it.

It’s like he was committed to getting his wife to say, “I do” every day, all over again. Like he was starting from Ground Zero, because he was.

What happened to Kim and Krickitt was tragic, but they turned it into something extraordinary, for each other, and also for others who are smart enough and willing to learn the valuable lessons shrouded in their story.

If your wife were stricken with amnesia, would you be able to earn her love, her trust, and her respect again?

There’s no need to wait until she forgets who you are. Our wives’ love, trust, and respect are all privileges that we should be committed to earning as each day passes … as if we were started all over again.

And if we had lost all of them, we should be able to earn them all back through unwavering commitment.

That’s some great, indirect, relationship advice from Kim Carpenter, the man whose wife forgot who he was.

From one husband to another,

Meetch Martinez
husband-ology.com

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Written short and to the point, for the husband with a busy schedule – roughly 5 minutes an issue.